As I was listening to the news the other day I continued to hear stories about the Rodger’s killing spree in California and the expected fallout. The feminists are out in droves screaming that “misogyny kills” and it’s time for women and men alike to recognize this and demand that it stop. Now, as a woman, I will not argue that misogyny is a good thing or even an ok thing. But there is one piece by Jessica Valenti of the Guardian UK that caught my attention. She asks “When will we admit that our society is misogynist?” And Valenti goes on to tells us in this piece that since this shooting women all over the world have come out to tell their story which has resulted in the viral #YesAllWomen social media campaign.

Well, I won’t admit I live in a misogynist society simply because I don’t. That is why I responded, #NoNotAllWomen. I once heard Maya Angelou say in an interview “Believe someone when they tell you something about themselves,” and I have never forgotten that. This statement coupled with the idea of what I’ve heard referred to as “projection” (I have no idea what the clinical term is), where an individual sees life through the lens of their own experience and assumes everyone else has the same experience, is VERY telling. What Jessica Valenti and feminists everywhere are telling us about themselves is that their lives are very unhappy untrusting places. They possess a dangerous level of arrogance in assuming that all looks in their direction from men are evil. That every accidental brush against them is an attempt to sexually harass them. Ever been on a crowded train, bus or elevator? Sometimes that hand that just brushed you no more wanted to touch you than you wished it to, it was simply an accident. When I see a man looking at me, I do not automatically jump to the conclusion that he is a misogynist or has deviant thoughts about me. Maybe I remind him of his sister, his best friend, his first girlfriend or a litany of other people that he holds dear to his heart. Scientific reasoning states that the simplest answer is usually the best. Perhaps instead of dreaming up wild conspiracies about every man who has ever made eye contact with you or bumped into you on the street, maybe we should consider the obvious, it was an accident. But maybe a man is admiring something about me, my hair color, my eyes, my smile and here is a piece of information that feminists clearly have had no experience with… Men ARE capable of admiring beauty in a woman without any sexual feelings or desire being attached. It’s true. It is entirely possible for men to look at women and see her beauty without being overcome with an animal lust for her. Maybe, just maybe, all these men whose looks are making Ms. Valenti so uncomfortable are innocently admiring her beauty, an attribute I can only assume she aspires to as in her picture she is wearing makeup and bright red lipstick. Otherwise, why bother with makeup if you don’t want to look pretty? It makes no sense to want to look pretty then become infuriated when people notice. Should we just make men wear blinders?

This is not to say that incidents of less than honorable intention don’t happen, they do. And I have had my share of unwanted attention and even worse, but I will not get into my own very personal experiences here. I will not argue that sexism played a part in this particular crime, which is what seems to be the central issue here. Feminists want everyone to admit that sexism was the cause of this crime. But upon deeper inspection, we must ask, “Why did Rodgers feel entitled to be sexually active and why was it so devastating to him that he wasn’t?” And the answer I come up with will anger feminist progressives everywhere.

Elliot Rodgers felt entitled to be sexually active with women because he was listening to them, the feminists. For the past 50 years the feminist movement, yes their very own movement, has shoved their views of sexual freedom down our throats (excuse the pun). It is the feminists who have insisted that sex is for everyone and on any occasion. It is the feminists who have insisted on giving away birth control and making abortion accessible (albeit not necessarily safe) so that women have “the right” to be sexually active with whomever and whenever they please without the “punishment” of having a baby. It is these same feminists who have insisted that modest dress for women is outdated and repressive, as is saving sex for marriage. So, let me get this straight, over the past 50 years a movement that claims it is acting in my best interest has managed to objectify women on a scale never before seen despite their stated claims that it is this very objectification which they fight? Seems curious to me how they claim to fight this in one breath while applauding and encouraging this same objectification in the next. I agree that the objectification of women is awful and getting worse, not better, but feminists have only themselves to blame. No wonder this kid thought he was entitled, every billboard, magazine rack and t.v. channel carries ads and/or stories of women who have found “sexual freedom”. We glorify casual sex and ridicule the virgin. This is also why he was devastated by the rejection. He was told (like all of us are) that you are a loser extraordinaire if you aren’t sleeping around. And then there’s just the reality (which I know is a commodity that progressives and feminists do not deal in) that rejection sucks for everyone….that and it is a part of life. Which leads me to the other part of my conclusion. Everybody has been rejected by someone before and some have been rejected repeatedly. Which shows it wasn’t the rejection, it wasn’t his “virgin”status, it wasn’t misogyny, it was just him. This very troubled person was ill-equipped to deal with rejection. Why was he so ill-equipped to deal with this devastating blow? Again, the culprit is progressive thinking. Rodgers was brought up in a world where hurting someone’s feelings borders on the criminal, competition is taboo and self-esteem is the center of the universe. No wonder he was crushed. Rodgers had never likely been taught that he was going to feel bad at times in his life. Repeatedly. For the rest of his life. And that this is not only normal, but actually can make you a better stronger person if you will allow it.

And the hypocrisy in this #YesAllWomen campaign is not only overwhelming but genuinely deadly for some women. As I write, this there is a woman, Meriam Ibrahim, who sits in a Sudanese jail because she was turned in by someone claiming to be her brother for refusing to renounce her Christian faith. She is 27 years old and an American citizen through marriage. And the most appalling part? Her toddler and 5 day old (yes, she gave birth in prison) are there with her. Where are you Sandra Fluke? Where is your outrage Jessica Valenti? Your silence betrays your truth and that is that you believe in 2 classes of citizens, those you agree with and those you disagree with. And those you disagree with aren’t worthy of your voice. They are not deemed worthy of the fight to relieve very real oppression vs. your imagined oppression of too costly birth control, not having on-demand abortion and heaven forbid, the excruciating experience of having a male notice that you look pretty.

I contemplated this woman’s plight last night as I rocked my baby boy to sleep, and I broke down in tears, for many reasons. I cannot imagine the despair this woman feels, not least of all due to this administrations’ outright ignoring this story. This same administration who can convene a panel on the safety of helmets in football is too busy to pick up the phone and demand a citizen’s release from an unjust arrest. This speaks both to the impotence and apathy of this administration. The Bible says we will know Jesus’ disciples by their fruit. Right now, it breaks my heart to say that we are living in the shadow a fruitless tree.

I urge anyone who reads this to call their Congressman and ask them to join Rep. Trent Franks (R-Ariz.) resolution calling on the administration to act. Rep. Frank Wolf (R-VA.) has also added his voice and is calling on the President to offer her a “safe haven.” Also sign the White House petition from Family Research Council to pressure the administration to act.


“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil; God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak.Not to act is to act.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffe

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